guiltygirl:

i like to pretend i’m emotionless but i have at least 200 mood swings a day

paprika:

I stay alive for like 3 people lol

(Source: wreckfull)

freakinmilkonthatshizz:

Everyday is leg day when you’re running from your problems

(Source: darkfate7)

lucidnee:

goingn4thekill:

lucidnee:

GUESS WHO DONT GOT KIDS? ME

i have the most beautiful daughter who i am so very fucking proud to call my own. i love my child. i hope people that make posts like these dont have children because you seem like you would be a shitty parent.

GUESSS WHO STILL DONT GOT KIDS?? ME

spaceinvadeher:

legendarymotherofshade:

erincrocodile:

wizzard890:

kaylapocalypse:

lockelamora:

hellkn1ght:

borderline-sunflower:

i was on the train and 3 drunk girls saw me and said i had nice brown eyes so they sang “brown eyed girl” to me

I threw up at a frat party and I was crying in the bathroom and a drunk girl went upstairs to get me a shirt and came back with a sweater and a kitten.

At the last party I went to three drunk girls fishtail braided my hair by committee

a drunk girl drew an eye on the back of my hand and then patted it with satisfaction and  whispered “count olaf”

once at a barbecue a drunk girl gave the surgical scar on my shoulder a butterfly kiss and said “you’re cured”

A drunk girl at a bar I was at became worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrition and proceeded to hold peanuts to my lips and just keep saying “peanut peanut” until I would eat it. And after I allowed her to feed me a peanut she pet my hair and said “Thank you”.

Drunk girls, saving your life one wtf at a time.

Girls are a fucking gift don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

(Source: curiovsly)

berries-archive:

Adult: your hickey is crude and trashy, you should be ashamed

me: 

• is a teenager
  
• is living life and having fun
  
• is bothering no one
• hasn’t had 3 failed marriages
  
• didn’t ask, martha